Handle a Hangover Like a PRO Drinker by Coping with Inebriation
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Handle a Hangover Like a PRO Drinker by Coping with Inebriation

This article will teach you how to prevent hangovers while still drinking huge amounts, and also avoid puking all over the place and passing out!

Disclaimer: Under no circumstances does the author of this article condone excessive drinking, driving while under the influence or underage drinking. Alcohol is not for sale to persons under the age of 18, or 21 in some states. Make sure you know your laws. The author of this article is not to be held responsible for ill-thought out acts of stupidity that may result in alcohol poisoning or other diseases.

Are you partying out with friends, dancing to good music and having a great time each weekend? Are your fun nights being spoiled by the fact that you're the guy and/or girl that is either vomiting up chunks in the bathroom or knocked out cold on the floor while your mates have an amazing time during the last few hours of the party?

Are you sick and tired of this repetitive cycle happening every weekend?

What if I was to tell you that you could effectively manage your alcohol intake and still get drunk out of your mind? Would you believe me? 

You must be wondering what the possible benefits are other than not puking or passing out, if any. If done right, this technique will completely null the hangover that you would've experienced the next morning, and as we all know, hangovers are not fun to have.

My name is Declan de Wet, and I have had one hangover in my entire life. When I had just turned 17, I went out with my girlfriend of the time and had a couple of drinks. Nothing too heavy, just about 3 ciders and 2 tequilas if I remember correctly. It was my first time drinking, and I remember getting very tipsy at the end of the night. Now, I didn't puke or pass out, but I did have a hangover the next morning, and I hated it. So I vowed to myself, I will try and create a system that works for me that will end this horrible morning torture after a night of drinking. And I had the best year to try and test out my theories and methods, as at the end of the year I'd be going on a 2 week long binge drinking celebration with all my school buddies.

I researched every possible method of maintaining a heavy alcohol intake, and came across many different articles in books and magazines that theorized many techniques, yet only some of them worked in practice. These were:

  • Drink one glass of water for every 2 units of alcohol you consume.
  • Do not mix alcohol with sugary drinks or substances unless you have had a glass of water beforehand. (e.g. rum and coke, cream soda and cane, etc.)
  • After a night of drinking, drink a sports drink and wait until you need to go to the toilet, then go to bed. This can be Game, Energade, Powerade, Gatorade, anything of that nature.
  • Eat while you drink. NEVER drink on an empty stomach.
  • Have a morning fry up the day after.

There is one other theory that works, and I'm not going to say I've discovered it because it's probably been talked about before, but I will say that I didn't really read about it. I observed it happening around me. Every night my friends and I went to a club, the club would always be within walking distance of a McDonald's. Don't ask me why, as it was merely coincidental each time. We hounded clubs based on the experience and fun had at the club and by the people that went there, not by which fast food joint was nearby. 

Taking this into consideration, I decided to follow a couple of people to the McDonalds restaurants at near each club to find out why drunk people went there so often. My results concluded that one, McDonald's tastes amazingly great when you're utterly shit faced, and two, a decently sized McDonald's meal will sober up ANY drunk person within 10 minutes of the walk back. 

I decided to do more research on the matter and found out, shockingly, that it is not the food that actually sobers you up. It's the walking.

When you drink, you are actually dehydrating your body, because any form of alcohol is a drying agent. This means that though your thirst may be quenched, your body is actually depleted of water. The walk from the club to McDonald's requires a lot of energy, even more so when your body has been depleted of water. The food tastes good because your brain's receptors and transmitters are sending you messages that are telling you that your body has been craving a source of energy to replenish itself with.

This food then mixes in your stomach with the alcohol that you've been consuming, and because your body craves energy so badly, it digests your food at an accelerated pace, thereby converting it to energy faster. The walk back to the club from McDonald's then burns this energy. Half the alcohol is being converted into urine and sweat, while the other half is actually mixed in to the energy that you're burning. By the time you get to the club, you're already sweating like a pig, and by the moment you arrive, you're probably going to want to use the bathroom. Give 10 minutes for your body to adjust, and hey presto, you're sober again. 

With this information in mind, it is possible to take any source of greasy food/energy and combine it with walking or dancing every few hours to sober you up a bit, and by putting this into a cycle (e.g. drink -> drunk, eat -> sober, drink -> drunk) it is possible to avoid passing out and/or vomiting. 

If you combine these methods, and just practice the techniques a little, you'll start to feel the harshness of your hangovers being lessened greatly. Once you master the techniques, you will be managing your intake like a pro!

If you have any other techniques, feel free to submit them in the comments below!

Happy drinking!

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Comments (5)

A very interesting article Declan and hope to read more soon.

Voted up. Yes, a very interesting article.

Thanks for the feedback :)

I have heard about some of these in the past. I don't think that I have heard about the energy drink before though. Nice list.

hmmm... interesting. Not that I am a drinker but I will pass this along.

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